honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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