I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
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