you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Randomize
