i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize