ugly people sure do ruin things
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
