Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
