Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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