there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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