marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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