I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
