Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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