I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
we should paint friendship bongs
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