I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
