Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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