It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
