I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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