And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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