And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
