Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
