my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
