I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
