have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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