Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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