I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Randomize
