Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
we're so committed to being not committed
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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