Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
