I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
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