can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
