Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
