She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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