Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize