no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Come see our sink grown plant.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
