Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
