Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
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