I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
