WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
