Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
