Well apparently he's into motor boating.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
