I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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