is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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