I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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