I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
