obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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