at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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