How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
