In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Come on in and take your pants off
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