She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
