it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
