It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
This is my gift to your gina
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
