Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
