Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
