Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
