I wanna passion pit in your ass
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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