Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Sex in the backyard? Check.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
