I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
