was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize