And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize