i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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