Michael Bay diarrhea
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
