Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Randomize