i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
