I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
