you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
It's rum buckets o'clock
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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