Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
