no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
